Nincy Mondly continues to reflect on her journey of faith, seeking God, doing her best while coping with paraplegia. This is the second part of Nincy’s story. Please find the first part here.
- What led you to finally accept your condition? And what was the most difficult part of accepting yourself with paraplegia?
- Describe a point in time when you felt that God indeed cares for you and is in control?
- As you look back- what has God taught you and done in you (your heart or character)?
- How do you manage thoughts around regret or self-pity?
- What is your life like right now? What are your present challenges? What have been your strengths?
- Tell us a little about your artwork and other things that you've been involved in.
- What is your message for people who have paraplegia or are in the midst of some kind of suffering?
What led you to finally accept your condition? And what was the most difficult part of accepting yourself with paraplegia?
I think it’s not about accepting the condition but about being able to accept oneself with the condition.
Even though such conditions are called physical challenges, every bit of you gets challenged as you live with it. The way you look at yourself changes drastically. Self pity, hatred and so much more fills up within you.
There was a time when such self mutilating emotions would make me cry uncontrollably as I came before God in prayer. Or at night when lights were off I would cry, not even trying to stop myself.
What spoke to this hurting self of mine was love. The unconditional love that God revealed to me. As I would read the Bible, verses like
‘Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand’
Isaiah 41:10
Jesus said, ‘Don’t be afraid, just believe’
Mark 5:36
gave me strength. Very often I would come across such verses after I pray desperately, and so it would feel like God is speaking to me. I started noting down these verses.
Then during the next emotional breakdown these verses would come to my rescue i.e. suppose in a particular situation I am telling myself how much I hate myself, Bible verses would remind me of God’s love and how He calls me His child.
God also surrounded me with people who love me. When I see how much my family loves me, it makes me wonder how much more my Father in heaven loves me.
When the one who created me loves me, do I consider myself bigger than my creator to think of myself as worthless? Over time, such revelations helped me accept myself more.
When the one who created me loves me, do I consider myself bigger than my Creator to think of myself as worthless? Over time, such revelations helped me accept myself more. Coping with paraplegia- Nincy's story continued via… Click To TweetDescribe a point in time when you felt that God indeed cares for you and is in control?
From childhood itself I was blessed enough to be in a nourishing environment where I was encouraged to seek God. But it is this whole traumatic period and what happened and is happening around it that really feels like
‘These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.’
1 Peter 1:7 NLT
I cannot pin-point the time when I felt God cares for me and is in control because throughout this period, from not dying to what made me fall 7 years back, to relearning to sit up, eat, bathe, and do everything, including the mistakes I have made in between, to the point of writing this article now, I believe God is watching over me.
Now all this doesn’t mean that I haven’t asked “Why me?” or “Why did this happen?” or even “Why didn’t I die? “. But I have come to learn that faith is about trusting God even when you may not have the answers.
Faith is about trusting God even when you don't have the answers- Coping with paraplegia- Nincy's story continued via @BeingRubitah Click To Tweet
As you look back- what has God taught you and done in you (your heart or character)?
As an artist, the best way I can understand and explain what God has taught me is as follows :
Imagine an artist creates a painting on canvas and whatever the artist creates comes to life. So this painting which comes to life finds itself beautiful and in control and decides to paint itself.
But some wrong strokes mess up the entire painting. Now a shattered painting returns to the creator, realizing that it can be made complete only in the hands of the creator who can turn even the flaws into beautiful and purposeful imperfections.
I am learning to trust God about where I am right now and where He shall take me.
How do you manage thoughts around regret or self-pity?
The realization that I am most victimized by my own negative thoughts helped me take care of myself more (emotionally).
I am learning to be more mindful of what I tell myself or think about myself. But something that I also understood is that you cannot do it all by yourself.
Sharing my thoughts with people who I trust has kept me from getting trapped in the caves of my own mind or the limits of my body.
What is your life like right now? What are your present challenges? What have been your strengths?
As I started working in January this year, it’s like a new level of challenges and I know it’s for my good.
But as years go by without the miracle my family and I have been waiting for, I feel scared.
I know God’s ways are unimaginable and He has been constantly working within me. Me being alive is nothing less than a miracle.
But as I believe in a God who is capable of restoring me completely and exceedingly, I wait expectantly for Him. Now that’s a challenge that doesn’t get easier with time, but only by faith.
As years go by without the miracle my family and I have been waiting for, I feel scared. But as I believe in a God who is capable of restoring me completely and exceedingly, I wait expectantly for Him. – Coping with paraplegia-… Click To TweetMy prized possession is the time with my family. The moments where I pause to take a mental picture of my mother’s smile or when I would feel the strong arms of my father as he would lift me up like a baby or when I smile hearing my sister’s laughter at a distance (even when I don’t know why she’s laughing ).
Another thing I wouldn’t ever want to have missed is the time I have with my little nephews.
Now all this and much more that I cannot manage to squeeze in between these lines, are what I got because I am here right now. They are valuable and they also make my life valuable for me.
Tell us a little about your artwork and other things that you’ve been involved in.
The significance of Art in my life grew so much after I became in this condition.
I found a way to understand myself and express myself through art, especially in recent years. Each artwork feels like a journey, a journey that is every inch worth its destination.
When I am engaged in an artwork, I feel I am in a place without boundaries.
I also enjoy writing once in a while. Both painting and writing have helped me gather myself from where I had fallen. Studying psychology alongside was very beneficial too. I hope that I shall be able to put all these to use not just for myself but several others too .
What are the common misconceptions around the condition of paraplegia that you’re aware of? What is your advice to the common man?
People facing such conditions and their families are in a very vulnerable state of mind. So without proper awareness of the medical condition, we are at the risk of getting misled. We look for all conventional and unconventional treatment methods.
Understanding about one’s own condition from professional experts and people who are facing similar conditions can be helpful.
But, just as each one of us is unique, what the condition means to us, does to us and makes us do is also unique. While the world around you might try to drill in what appears like facts into your head, make sure you don’t give up the hope to live a happy life.
Just as each one of us is unique, what the condition means to us, does to us and makes us do is also unique. While the world around you might try to drill in what appears like facts into your head, make sure you don't give up the hope… Click To TweetI thank God that He has always given me reasons to look forward to.
What is your message for people who have paraplegia or are in the midst of some kind of suffering?
When you feel so broken, find the courage to tell yourself that it’s going to be okay.
When everything else may seem to go against you, make sure you don’t go against yourself.
Even though you may feel like you are the only one suffering, know that every single person is carrying their own painful load.
What makes the difference is the way you carry it.
……………………………………………………………………………….
Thank you Nincy for inspiring us with your words. May God make you an instrument of His glory in whatever you pursue in the future.
Click here to read the first part of Nincy’s story of faith while she copes with paraplegia.
Do you have questions or messages for Nincy concerning paraplegia or anything else? Please feel free to comment below
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