Do you remember the last time you came across a kind gesture? Or the last time you were kind to somebody? As adults our view of life constantly changes with our pressing circumstances. Yet our own childhood has a lot to teach us. Here is my story of a kind act that I have always been grateful about and 15 other kind gestures from childhood that we must try and adopt immediately!
The door bell rang. I sighed. After 2 weeks of the terrible morning sickness, while working through feelings of gloom and stress, in an estranged country with none of my own loved ones nearby; my first thought was “Now who is it”
Except this wasn’t a stranger. Instead, my next door neighbour in Muscat was visiting to check on me if I was fine. “Rubitah, how are you feeling now? I heard your vomiting from the bathroom. Your husband told me you were pregnant. Listen, I cooked a little extra today. You both can have this for lunch ok?”
My eyes welled up with her kind gesture. I thought it was my hormones making me so emotional but today when I think about it, I realize how blessed I was to receive this pure act of kindness.
She didn’t know me so well and we had met briefly only thrice before that day and yet her thoughtful gesture spoke volumes of the substance she was made of. From that day till about 4 weeks after, she continued to send us lunch meals till she was convinced I had regained my strength.
Such is kindness. A gesture that you learn only after you are shown one in your most vulnerable state. An act that when valued, motivates the receiver to pass it forward.
As a child though, I remember kindness and giving was innate to many of us. With no technological distraction and fear of being taken advantage of, we acted pretty much on every impulse with all its fairness. Today I’m listing 15 kind gestures that come to my mind.
Sharing whatever you have with everyone around you
Be it birthdays or even a regular lunch, we shared everything that we had with our friends, without a second thought. Remember the birthday years, when we distributed toffees or chocolates to all our classmates? It made us feel special to know that our buddies were looking out for that moment, the entire day and the smile on their faces when they received it- priceless!
Nowadays we have been manipulated into thinking that sharing makes us weak. We are asked to protect our ideas, safeguard our knowledge and build walls around us so that no one knows what we know.
Making time for people who take out time to see us
Whether it was a family friend or even a distant relative, we enjoyed sitting and talking to anyone who visited home. In the instances when it would get boring, we offered help in anyway possible to make the guest comfortable.
Now we are all driven by benefits. What is my benefit if I talk to him? Why should I invest my time in relationships that give nothing in return?
Helping someone as a reflex action
As a child we always helped our teachers to carry their big pile of books, we rushed to give a hand to our classmate if he fell down, we offered our friend lunch if he didn’t have any and we shared a word of encouragement to someone who had just received a punishment.
Today we are scared to help. “What if it backfires? What if this person takes advantage of our sensitive side?” we worry.
Calling or visiting when someone in the family or friend circle is sick
I remember meeting many of my church uncles and aunties when I was small. Even when a neighbourhood or school friend fell sick, we would keep visiting or calling to make sure he or she was okay.
But now, we hardly have the time to even message when it is important. We have become complacent about checking on our loved ones and are content with not being asked about as well.
Making time for the elderly in the community
It was a norm to spend a quick conversation with the elderly who used to step out of their homes in the evenings. The fun part was that as children, we never had to even try. The old people were always so full of questions and funny instances, that it used to be a joy to just be around them.
Today we have completely forgotten them. We have no time or heart to even inquire about them. This is truly unfortunate.
Forgiving and accepting everyone in no time
As a child it was so easy to forgive and forget petty fights. We always new our friendships were worth more than the small irritations and disappointments that came in between. Even with our parents, we hardly kept a grudge and accepted them even when they were not so nice!
Today we take note of incidents and make everything personal. “My need must be served first and you should be okay with that.” we demand.
Writing out letters of love or regret
Love letters and notes were so rampant in our times. And as much as we were overwhelmed receiving it, we enjoyed that phase thoroughly. Letters of regret were also shared with friends and parents, when we expressed being regretful of our actions. “I’m sorry Mummy. I promise I won’t do this again.” remember?!!
Some still practice this today but mostly with their spouses. When was the last time someone wrote you a letter of appreciation without expecting one in return?
Smiling all the time
Stranger or not we smiled at everyone! There were so many reasons to smile in childhood. A new day, seeing your classmates, a free period, a compliment, a happy teacher, play time, a day out, food, music, etc etc
Today we are serious and cautious of everything, every person around us. Smiling is not easy anymore and is offered to only a few.
Involving everyone in the group so that nobody feels left out
As friends or as classmates we made sure that no one in the group was left out and made fair decisions whenever we could. Every group had an un-named leader who ensured that everyone was happy about all the decisions that were being taken.
Today with friends, yes we still look out for each other, but say with our work team, we always try to take the safe stand. We choose our safety even if it meant to wrongfully put our colleague in trouble.
Working passionately together as a group for a task
The joy in childhood came mostly from team-work. Whether it was a presentation or a community event, everyone in the group worked together to make it successful. Even if one in the group was weak, the others would compensate for him and still play to their best.
Compare this with today’s corporate teams? Manipulation, bullying, cornering, showing off have clearly taken over integrity and ethics.
Observing and demanding action for people who need help
Remember how we passionately felt like helping the beggar boy on the road when we met one or even the dejected classmate who was unfairly punished by the teacher? Remember how we discussed this at home or with friends and tried to help in whatever way we could?
Today we allow our minds to ignore misery because we are miserable. Little do we realize that it is the opposite of what we perceive. Giving others’ miseries our time and efforts actually makes us less miserable!
Saying thank you
Although taught by our parents, we were always asked to say thank you for everything we received. Whether it was for something of our interest or not. And even though we did not understand the practice back then we now know how humbling it is to be thankful about everything that we get or experience. To understand, that though this particular gift or action is not of my use at present, I was still “chosen” to receive it.
Being curious about every other thing
As children we were always curious about certain things that we observed or experienced. We questioned them, we experimented and we enjoyed our investigative adventures.
Today we accept everything that is thrown at us. We believe everything that we are told and do not question the stories that are shared with us.
Supporting your friends and family in word and deed, even when they’re not around.
We took lot of pride in sharing and promoting the achievements of our loved ones. There was competition but we still supported, defended and praised them- even when they were not around.
Today we weigh and evaluate all our support. Will supporting this friend or family member raise or decrease my value in this community? Or will this person support me when I need it too?
Refusing with empathy
In childhood, if you were not interested in a particular task, your response, even if no, was made with love and empathy. “No ya, I have this work to do..” “Sorry dear, I don’t enjoy loud music. Maybe when you’re playing games I will come over.”
Today I see many of us being extremely curt in our refusals. We keep boundaries and set limits with an “I don’t care what you feel” attitude. We encourage and enjoy making it about the self a little more than necessary.
I realize the value of kind gestures now because I was shown one. And I acknowledge how much I needed it to feel loved and thought of. It made me courageous to be kind to others even if they were not kind to me.
The world and the people around us need kind gestures too, even when they’re difficult, even when they don’t respect us, or think differently from us. We can be kind like how we were in childhood and still set boundaries. That is why kindness is the most sought after trait when you look for a partner or a friend. (related: What to look for in a life partner)
“Remember there’s no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” – Scott Adams
Have you come across some kind gestures in life? Reply in the comment section below
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Hi! My name is Rubitah. I’m a Content Writer certified Life Coach, Counselor, Social Work professional and the Founder of Being Rubitah. Over the years through my professional and personal life, I have realized that prayers and love can do wonders to family life once you come to terms with yourself and surrender to God. Do you relate to me? Then you may like what I post here! Read more about me
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