Overthinking is the act of thinking too much for far too long. While you may consider this as a normal part of life, this mental trap can make you fall prey to worse conditions like depression and anxiety. So how can you overcome the habit of overthinking and nip it in the bud?
Do you find yourself spending too much time worrying about things you cannot change? Or deliberating endlessly when making a decision and then questioning it again? Or tearing apart minor events of the past to predict the future?
The truth is we all do- in some way or the other. An event lingers on in our mind which compels us to think about it, talk about it, gather evidences around it, and evoke feelings too.
We recognize that this habit of overthinking not only makes us distressed and exhausted, but it also restricts us from achieving anything valuable for our own selves and for others around us.
“Oh but this is just how I am. I am a worrier, a fusspot and a nervous wreck. It is in my nature to be so.” This is what most of us believe.
Like many other habits (eg: procrastination) we allow thoughts to put a spell on us till the cycle is completed or the event has passed away.
We make it our second nature but we dread and tire ourselves out, when it repeats its course.
Why do we continue the habit of overthinking when we know it’s not helpful for us
- Because we’re mostly unaware of what we are thinking. We question our emotions but we hardly notice our thoughts.
- Because even if we are aware of our thoughts, we consider them harmless. We assume our thoughts are hidden from the world around us and have no power to hurt anybody.
- Because even if we know the harmful effects of overthinking, we are not able to quit by force of habit.
How can you overcome the habit of overthinking?
“Don’t worry. Everything will be fine.”
“Stop overthinking. God has a purpose for you.”
“You can do this”
-are a few wonderful statements that you tell somebody who seems to be caught in his worries. But these statements in my opinion neither empathizes with the overthinker nor gives any direction.
Then how can you help?
If you take any aspect of life, it can be thought about productively or unproductively. You take your work or marriage or children or housework or family. It is not the aspect by itself that needs a change but how you deal with them that makes the difference.
Similarly the habit of overthinking doesn’t call for a change in the thoughts you have but by the way you approach these thoughts. And though these thoughts come for a brief period, time and again, it is important that you immediately grasp them and correct them, if you want to live more peacefully.
Don’t label yourself with your thoughts but kindly acknowledge them
Try not to make it about yourself or label others too.
Don’t say “I am angry.” or “she’s difficult” or “he is that”
It is not you. It is not them. It’s a thought that’s happening to you.
Feeling anger does not make you an angry person.
Feeling worried doesn’t make you a chronic worrier.
Dissociate yourself with the thoughts when they strike you, but do acknowledge them.
“I feel angry.” I feel anxious” “I feel abandoned” are statements that will clearly tell your mind to not make it personal.
Observe your thoughts.
Observe them as you would observe a baby.
What is this thought up to? Where is this coming from? Why does it make me feel this way?
Embrace the several links your brain makes for you. Examine what your mind gets into when it travels through the innumerous connections of your past, present and future possibilities.
When you observe thoughts in this way you shift your focus from self-criticism to self-awareness.
You identify the limiting beliefs you carry within yourself and the events that have caused you to hold back. And in doing so you also recognize the opportunities to improve this behaviour.
Empty your mind
Thinking is involuntary. Whether we choose to or not, thoughts naturally flow in your mind. So whenever you feel like you’re being bombarded with thoughts, put them down in a paper.
If possible, don’t talk too much about them. Talking directs our attention to the weakness of our thoughts and leaves us feeling inadequate.
Share all your worries with God in prayer, if you like and do it with thanks. Believe that He is in control and is working to make you a better person.
When you place the burden of your thoughts on an external entity like a journal or God you release yourself from its intensity and it’s pressing demand for your attention.
Train your mind to focus on things that give you joy
Someone rightly said “imagination is a source of fear but imagination can be a cure of fear too”.
When you empty your mind of your fears and concerns you need something to fill it up back with, as well. The mind cannot remain empty because that is not how the mind works. It always needs inputs to be worked upon.
So take this opportunity to feed it with thoughts of faith, confidence, courage and hope. Use affirmations or Bible verses to think positive.
Recall all past events that point to God’s evident grace, your strengths and achievements. If it’s a person you’re troubled about or is troubling you, pray for that person in all earnestness.
I also love the exercise of listing out thoughts of gratitude at the end of your day (in a prayer or in writing). It instantly fills your mind with joy and helps you sleep peacefully.
Don’t participate in worrisome conversations
A group of people talking negatively about a situation can leave every person of the group feeling negative.
Whenever you find yourself in such a group, shoot an arrow of faith or hope and see how it turns around everybody’s thoughts. You will find that the focus of the discussion shifts from being hopeless to some practical solutions.
Choose your friends wisely
Hold on to the friend who lifts you up, acknowledges your thoughts but helps you focus on the positive aspects. This will help you develop a positive attitude for life.
Don’t talk excessively about your problems to random people because those conversations will not just leave you exhausted and numb but it may also bring upon unnecessary judgement and unhelpful solutions.
Put your mind to good use
If you catch yourself in between a crazy chain of thoughts, focus on helping someone else out with his. Call up a friend you know who is struggling with a problem and motivate them with positive thinking.
You will slowly realize that not only have your worries vanished, but you now are more accepting of yourself and your thoughts.
You certainly cannot overcome the habit of overthinking in a day. But with patience and practice, using one or many methods given above, there will be improvement.
You will probably be in a weary, half-blinded path with many halts. But you will also be on the way to becoming a better person. A person with a peace that passes understanding.
How do you stop yourself from overthinking everything? Let us know in the comments below
This post is part of Blogchatter’s CauseAChatter
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Hi! My name is Rubitah. I’m a Content Writer certified Life Coach, Counselor, Social Work professional and the Founder of Being Rubitah. Over the years through my professional and personal life, I have realized that prayers and love can do wonders to family life once you come to terms with yourself and surrender to God. Do you relate to me? Then you may like what I post here! Read more about me
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Nice post. Thanks for sharing
Thank you Anuradha! 🙂