How the local supermarket came to my mental rescue

Life is definitely uncertain at the moment. Fears or unpleasant circumstances concerning our jobs, finances, relationships or our physical and mental health are expected. But will worrying help? Read on to know how the local supermarket helped me rise above my apprehensions for tomorrow.

Last week was tough for me, mentally. Even though I was preparing a post on productivity tips by work from home experts, I personally didn’t feel very productive. I could not understand what was wrong. What was making me feel so negative, so repulsed.

Between the toddler demanding my attention all the time, the husband worried over our finances and I fretting over the household chores, the routine at home went for a toss.

I tried to make peace with the situation, reminded myself and the husband of God’s providence and cooked some favourites to make us feel better, but nothing changed. I was trying to make this work, of keeping my family motivated.

There. That was the moment when I started feeling unhappy.

I noticed myself getting exhausted, after every other hour. Even small easy tasks became mountains, I had no energy to climb.

I refused to bring order in the house, ignored my toddler for long hours, cried every time I started a conversation with my husband, burnt food and pretty much made a mess of everything.

I didn’t use the laptop for the next three days and repulsed the social media notifications. I slept whenever I got the chance.

I thought this was temporary. Fatigue or monotony must be making me feel this way, I gathered. So I tried what I thought would definitely make me happy- read a new fiction book. To my shock, I could not go beyond “acknowledgement”!

That’s when I realized that something was terribly wrong with me.

The drive in my not so happy phase- Being Rubitah- family conversations here. — The drive

I shared this with my husband.

“Did someone say anything to you?” he asked with concern. I had only talked to my parents the day before.

“No. Sheesh Arun, I don’t know why I’m so sad “ I cried hopelessly.

Arun consoled me like a good husband and took me out for a drive the next few days. It felt nice to be outside the house, but it didn’t fix what I was feeling inside. I continued dreading any form of activity but I prayed from my heart for direction.

Then one day, Arun persuaded me to buy vegetables and groceries from the local supermarket.

It was a task I had always enjoyed doing, but post the pandemic, Arun had offered to take over, for safety sake.

I didn’t want to go but he insisted. So I wrote down my usual list and forced myself out of the house with my mask and gloves on, praying in my mind for help.

At the local supermarket

As soon as I entered the supermarket a happy-eyed security guard greeted me and offered a cart.

I complied with an anxious smile and led myself to the aisles. As I dropped the items into my cart, I crossed a few more happy eyes, some greetings and of course a little chatter that comes with purchasing.

As I finished my list, a tiny feeling of joy sprung up in my heart. I laughed out as I realized what I had been missing all this while.

Fresh air, new faces, happy eyes, a little interaction- yes all I had dearly missed, but most importantly, what I had thoroughly enjoyed was the feeling of being in control.

As humans I believe we crave security. We like to have a sense of control over the things we think, plan and do.

The extreme precariousness of the present day situation, along with the change in routine, however, had pulled out all my mental energy, leaving me overwhelmed and distressed. Completing this small grocery list made me feel victorious!

When I returned home from shopping that day, I had not just reconciled with my spirit (through my communion with God, human beings and nature), but I had also gained a new confidence in uncertainty.

Yes, it is not easy to stay positive with the gloomy stories surrounding me or when I see my family in despair, but if I am willing, I can open my mind to appreciate the new experiences and lessons that life offers.

I can take responsibility for the thoughts that cross my mind and question their accuracy, their purpose.

How am I doing now?

I am coming to terms with the fact that uncertainty is an inevitable part of life. Does anyone have a guarantee on any aspect of life? No ! So while I can’t control what’s happening around me, I believe I can refocus my mind on taking action on things, that are under my control.

For one, I am trying to make the most of our days and appreciating the time we have together as a family. It is true that the quality of time I get with my family now, is far better than what it used to be.

Daily Planner for Moms | Family resources | Being Rubitah — Daily planner for moms

Checking off items from a list, clearly makes me feel at peace. Hence I have begun to schedule the little time I get in the day, for rest or recreation. This helps me prioritize the other tasks for the day, so I can look forward to my time alone.

I do this by using a small planning printable that I designed recently for this purpose. Click here if you want it too. Even if you’ve already subscribed to the blog, just submit your email again and you will receive it right away in your inbox.

On days when the routine gets displaced or I feel overwhelmed, I step away from my family for a few minutes, read the Bible for comfort and re-plan the day on a small piece of paper. Writing down even the small changes helps me feel re-oriented. I discuss this with my husband too so he can also understand and know what he can expect from the day.

Finally, I am constantly reminding myself and my husband, that even when nothing seems to be certain, God is in control, so we need not fear or be dismayed, for He will strengthen us, and help us. He will uphold us with His righteous right hand (Isaiah 41:10)

Do you relate to me? How are you coping in these times? Let me know by leaving a comment below!

This post is part of “Blogchatter’s CauseAChatter”.

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