In my previous blog post on toddler tantrums, I had shared some tips on how to cope with toddler tantrums as a parent. I strongly believe that if you are calm as a parent or caregiver, then you are well prepared for any situation regarding your toddler.
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In most instances, however, toddler tantrums happen when you least expect them and you hardly get an upper hand, while your child is at it.
So yes, you can never be fully prepared. There are nonetheless, certain ways with which you can help reduce the intensity and recurrence of these tantrums. They are:
Identify your toddler’s triggers
By the start of the 2nd year, you would have gained an idea of the basic triggers that push your child’s tantrum buttons.
These are usually, hunger, tiredness, lack of sleep, and discomfort. So make sure that you have addressed these needs before stepping out of your house.
Some other triggers which you may or may not have control over include
- your child was not involved in any physical activity during the day.
- boredom
- too many rules
- frustration from not being able to do something
- over stimulation (too many people, too much activity all around, noisy places, extremely bright lights all around)
- an illness (like the common cold or if they’ve just received a vaccination)
- distracted parents
- frustration from being reasoned to
Every toddler is different. So understand your child and try to notice how he behaves in different situations.
- When does he behave well?
- What times of the day is he the happiest?
- With whom does he like to hang out more?
- What are the things that stress him out?
- Are there any specific places that make him go crazy?
- What helps him feel better?
- Who is able to help him feel better?
Start observing these things and once you’ve identified these triggers and the patterns that come along with it, you would know exactly what to do in each of these situations.
Establish a routine and stick to it
It’s always good to set a schedule for your child so he knows what to expect. Wake up at 8, lunch at 1, nap at 3, sleep at 10, saturdays are shopping days, sundays are church days etc etc
This way he will be more calm and cooperative for all your routine activities.
Allot a quiet period
This was suggested by one of my fellow bloggers and I thought it was a great idea.
Help your toddler to spend some quiet time every day, when there are no distractions, the television is off, the phones are out of reach and all he has to take pleasure in is, his own little environment.
For this, you will have to ensure that the space or corner you choose for his quiet period is inviting. Some comfortable cushions, maybe a tent of his own, soft blankets, stuffed toys, mind jars, glass globes etc. Something that excites his imagination and keeps him occupied, with no external help.
This practice can actually equip your child to recognize calm and even enjoy it. This will further help him to acknowledge that he does need help in overwhelming situations and become more cooperative with you, when the situation arises.
Prepare your child for the activities ahead
If for example you’re taking a flight tomorrow, prepare your child for this new experience. Review your plan with him, going through every possible detail that can occur during the experience.
Let him also know the behaviour you expect from him. This way he will be more prepared for the transition and will also know how to manage his stress, during the phase.
On a daily basis too, if you need your child to act on something, you can prepare him with a warning. For example- “We will play with your toys for 5 more minutes and then we’re going to eat.”
Eliminate temptation
If you know that the medicine box in your cupboard, is an attraction for your toddler, move it to a safer place.
If you know that the toy section of a mall makes your child crazy, avoid that area completely.
Hide the chocolates, keep the breakables away from his sight, remove all dangerous objects.
Teach emotions
Right from the beginning, label all the emotions your toddler goes through by empathizing with him. Also label other people’s emotions.
“Wow, that’s a big smile! You must be happy!”
“Oh, you have tears in your eyes. Are you sad?”
“That boy is throwing his toy away. He must be so angry!”
This way your child will learn to communicate his feelings whenever he goes through a stressful situation.
Other ways to teach emotions or feelings:
- Read books to your child, and help him in spotting pictures that emphasize an emotion.
- Pretend play with stuffed animals. “Teddy is feeling so sad because you pushed him. Let’s say sorry to him and maybe he will feel better.”
- Teach the song – “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.” Try it with different emotions and follow with the relevant action. “If you’re sad and you know it, cry out loud. Waaaaah” “If you’re angry and you know it, stomp your feet. Stomp stomp” etc
- Use emoticons. Teach the basic emotions with the help of emoticons and then ask your child to identify these expressions on you or other family members.
You can find more resources on teaching emotions here.
Reward good behaviour
As parents, we are quick to express displeasure for our child’s misbehaviour but how many times do we openly appreciate our child’s honest attempts on behaving well?
So next time, for example, when you notice your child walking patiently next to you, in a super market, tell him later, that you noticed it and are really proud of him.
This will reinforce his good behaviour and he would start “wanting” to behave well in instances where he feels he has control.
Have an exit strategy in place
Wherever you go, make sure you have an exit strategy, for instances when your toddler loses his cool. This helps you as a parent too to stay calm.
Click here to read a few strategies that you can use “when” a toddler tantrum happens.
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Hi! My name is Rubitah. I’m a Content Writer certified Life Coach, Counselor, Social Work professional and the Founder of Being Rubitah. Over the years through my professional and personal life, I have realized that prayers and love can do wonders to family life once you come to terms with yourself and surrender to God. Do you relate to me? Then you may like what I post here! Read more about me
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