7 real tips for surviving and thriving in a long distance relationship

Are you currently in a long distance relationship where you’re forced to wait a considerable amount of time just to be with your partner? Is the distance between you two starting to take its toll on your relationship? Explore real tips to manage waiting, build resilience, and maintain love through separation.

When I got married in 2015, I had no idea how my life would unfold (as is the case with most of us, right?). Our families had arranged the marriage based on common connections but there was also that instant “spark” with Arun. His cheerful, ambitious spirit and unassuming temperament, made him incredibly appealing.

I was set to live with him in Muscat as soon as the family visa came through. Arun’s promotion and a secure workplace, strengthened the chances of a quick reunion.

However, the promotion got delayed. I had already left my job before the wedding, so the unexpected delay left me feeling anxious and uneasy.

Arun would call me often (thanks to IMO and Whatsapp) and I would pour my heart out! Still, the wait seemed unbearably long!

In the meantime, Arun wisely arranged a visit visa and a suitable accommodation for the both of us. I finally landed in Muscat, 3 months after our wedding.

Over the next year and a half, I visited a few more times but the family visa never came and we eventually moved to Bahrain. That waiting period to just be together, though relatively short, was emotionally challenging for me.

Many couples experience this kind of separation—some by choice, others waiting for something that will reunite them (like a visa, as in my case), and more recently, due to the COVID-19 lockdowns.

Couples around the world have found themselves stranded in long distance relationships, often separated by different cities or even countries. This situation has made the waiting period even more challenging, as the physical distance feels even more overwhelming during times of uncertainty.

So, to anyone currently separated from their partner and waiting to be together again, here are a few pointers I wish I’d known:

Acceptance- The first step in a long distance relationship

This phase you’re going through may have arrived without warning, or perhaps you anticipated it, but either way, accepting your current situation is key. Instead of letting uncertainty or setbacks overwhelm you, focus on what you can control and how you can move forward.

Embrace the present moment and avoid falling into self-pity. It’s easy to compare your journey to others’ social lives, but remember, everyone’s path is different. What might seem like an easy or perfect situation for someone else may not reflect the full picture.

Stay grounded in your own process, knowing that your time will come when the circumstances are right.

Be patient in your long distance relationship- trust the process

It’s easier said than done, I know. I wasn’t patient either. But if you have a supportive family who stands by your decisions and is emotionally there with you, you really have no reason to worry.

The lockdown is temporary and for our good future. Be assured that we will resume our lives sooner or later, together.

In the case of any visa or career-related hurdles, remember that these processes take time. Companies in different countries, operate at different capacities, for running these processes.

Sometimes, it takes multiple attempts and other times, things can fall into place all at once.

So hold on, both of you- it will all come through.

Trust your partner: build a strong relationship from afar

Trust your partner to take care of themselves. Trust them to also make the right decisions, for your future.

Even though the wait may test your convictions, never doubt your partner or throw tantrums. You will end up pressurising each other and creating resentment.

Instead, focus on nurturing trust and understanding, knowing that both of you are working towards the same goal.

Make the most of your time apart

If you’re not working and have some free time, why not look for a short assignment? Not only will you earn extra money but it will help your CV look strong in the job market.

Perhaps, you can opt for volunteering. Skilled and virtual volunteering activities, these days, are the “in thing”, where you can bring a significant difference with proven skills.

You could even use the time to enroll in a short course. It will improve your chances of getting employed.

For the working partner, spend your free time with friends. Try a new skill. Learn a new language. You will never have this kind of “alone time” again.

If you are stranded with your children try to plan ahead and design activities with them. Involve them in your daily chores. Discuss with them about the situation and how mummy/daddy need their help to turn this period into fun.

Enjoy the quality time you do have together

When couples are apart, they often argue less, and while it might seem like suppressing your emotions isn’t ideal, there’s a silver lining.

The distance teaches you to filter your feelings, prioritising what’s truly important. You become more mindful of how you use your limited time together, choosing to express your love and discuss meaningful issues rather than letting small disagreements take over.

Negative emotions like anger, jealousy, or despair lose their power because you know that these feelings aren’t worth wasting precious moments on. Instead, you focus on strengthening your bond and nurturing the love that keeps you connected, even when apart.

Avoid negative influences in your waiting period

During this waiting period, you may encounter comments from others, some of which may be well-meaning, and others not so much. I remember someone once told me that my husband would divorce me if I didn’t act quickly to be with him.

While these remarks can be unsettling, it’s important to take them with a grain of salt. Listen with a smile, acknowledge their concern, but let the negativity roll off your back.

Focus on the strength of your own long distance relationship, and remember that no one else understands it the way you do. Trust that things will work out in the right time, and believe in the love and commitment you share with your partner

Reach out to your trusted circle for support

Talk to your close friends and family if you ever feel lost and discouraged. They might connect you with others who are in similar situations.

Just knowing that somebody else has been on the same boat as you are in, can be truly reassuring! Take any help offered, whether it is free babysitting or home-cooked meals- it makes a world of difference.

I know how difficult it is to be away from your partner, waiting for a breakthrough to happen, while convincing yourself, of a “happily ever after”!

Hang in there, friend- God is working a way out. Till then, make the most of your situation and remind yourself that you are “blessed”.

Yes, it is a blessing indeed. A couple who faces struggles together builds resilience, a deep fondness, and respect that ultimately strengthens the companionship.

Take care.

Found this post useful? You might like reading these as well:

Marrying the arranged way

You are enough- stop comparing yourself with others

8 incredible ways of finding the right partner

7 marriage tips for the wedding couple

How to pursue a fulfilling life on a day-to-day basis

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