Are you currently in a situation where you’re forced to wait a considerable amount of time, in order to just be with your partner? Has the COVID-19 pandemic separated you from your loved one? Is the long distance taking it’s toll on your relationship?
When I got married in 2015, I wasn’t sure how my life was going to turn out (that’s how it is, isn’t it?). Our families had arranged our marriage, based on the common connections we held.
There was also that instant “spark” with Arun. His cheerful, ambitious spirit and unassuming temperament, made him quite appealing.
I was going to live with him in Muscat, as soon as the family visa arrived. A promotion and a secure workplace, strengthened the chances of a quick reunion.
However, as unfortunate/fortunate as it was, the promotion got delayed. I had left my job before the wedding, so I felt anxious and uneasy about this unexpected change.
Arun would call me often (thanks to imo and whatsapp) and I would pour my heart out, but the wait just seemed too hard to bear!
Meanwhile, Arun acted wisely and arranged a visit visa and a suitable accommodation for the both of us. I finally landed in Muscat, a full 3 months after our wedding.
Then in the next one and a half years, I visited the place a few more times.The family visa never came and we eventually moved to Bahrain. However the waiting period to just be together, though small, was quite an emotional challenge for me.
Many couples live apart these days, sometimes by choice, sometimes waiting for a breakthrough that would get them together (as the visa in my case) and currently because of the COVID-19 scenario.
Yes, the ongoing lockdown in our countries has stranded many a couple. With partners stuck at different places and even countries, this particular period can become quite a struggle.
So here are a few pointers (that I wish I knew), for all those couples, who are waiting to be together again:
ACCEPT YOUR SITUATION
This phase that you’re in, may or may not, have come with a notice. Whatever it is, accept your situation and focus on moving ahead, without letting the consequences affect you. This also means throwing out self-pity and not permitting other people’s social lives, to affect you.
Photo by Aaron Jean on Unsplash
BE PATIENT
It’s easier said than done, I know. I wasn’t patient either, but if you have a family that supports your decisions and is emotionally there with you, you really have no reason to worry.
The lockdown is temporary and for our good future. Be assured that we will resume our lives sooner or later, together.
In the case of any visa or career development (if that’s what is creating the hurdle to be together), it takes time and different companies in different countries, have different capacities, for running these processes.
Sometimes, it takes multiple attempts, sometimes it will happen at one go!
So hold on, both of you- it will all come through.
TRUST EACH OTHER
Trust your partner to take care of themselves. Trust them to also make the right decisions, for your future.
Even though the wait may fog your convictions, never doubt your partner or throw tantrums. You will end up pressurizing each other and creating resentment.
PLAN YOUR TIME APART
If you’re not working and you know you have time, till the development happens, why not look for a short assignment to work on? Not only will you earn extra money but it will help your CV look strong in the job market.
Perhaps, you can opt for volunteering. Skilled and virtual volunteering activities, these days, are the in thing, where you can bring a significant change with proven skills.
You could even use the time to enroll in a short course. It will improve your chances of getting employed.
For the working partner, spend your free time with friends. Try a new skill. Learn a new language. You will never get this kind of an “alone time” again.
If you are stranded with your children try to plan ahead and design activities with them. Involve them in your daily chores. Discuss with them about the situation and how mummy/daddy need their help to turn this period into fun.
ENJOY THE QUALITY TIME
When couples are apart, they seldom fight. It may seem like an unhealthy habit, to suppress your emotions but look at it this way: you clearly learn to filter your feelings, when you’re apart.
This is because, you know you want to spend the little time you get, in expressing your love and discussing important issues. Negative feelings like anger, jealousy or despair are anyway, not worth the effort!
PUT AWAY NEGATIVITY
During the waiting period, many people, out of genuine concern (or not) may throw pessimistic remarks or opinions on your situation. One girl once told me, that my husband would divorce me, if I don’t do something sooner, to be with him!!
Listen to everyone with a smile, and keep all the negativity aside. Believe in your relationship and believe that God will find a way!
REACH OUT TO YOUR TRUSTED CIRCLE
Talk to your close friends and family if you ever feel lost and discouraged. They maybe able to connect you with other acquaintances who are going through the same situation as you.
Just knowing that somebody else has been on the same boat as you are in, can be truly reassuring! Take all the offered help if necessary, whether it is about getting a few hours of free babysitting service or arranging some home-cooked dishes.
I know how difficult it is to be away from your partner, waiting for a breakthrough to happen, while convincing yourself, of a “happily ever after”!
Hang in there, friend- God is working a way out. Till then, make the most of what you have and consider yourself “blessed”.
Yes, it is a blessing indeed, for a couple to experience struggles together because this period of separation will bring about resilience and a fondness and respect for each other, that will push its way to a fulfilling companionship.
Take care.
Found this post useful? You might like reading these as well:
How to make the most of the Covid-19 lockdown period
8 incredible ways of finding the right partner
7 marriage tips for the wedding couple
How to pursue a fulfilling life on a day-to-day basis
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Hi! My name is Rubitah. I’m a Content Writer certified Life Coach, Counselor, Social Work professional and the Founder of Being Rubitah. Over the years through my professional and personal life, I have realized that prayers and love can do wonders to family life once you come to terms with yourself and surrender to God. Do you relate to me? Then you may like what I post here! Read more about me
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