You’ve just had a baby, the most beautiful blessing in the world! But as time is passing, you are recognizing the exhaustion that comes with the new routine. Not to mention the emotional imbalance you keep experiencing every other day. What do you do? How do you cope with this new mum stress?
My pregnancy was like a pleasant breeze. It had a sense of serenity to it. I reveled in the special attention given to me, from dear ones and strangers, enjoyed the heightened sense of smell and taste, and was excited at the thought of meeting my very own baby.
God has indeed blessed me, I had thought!
But as soon as I stepped into motherhood (which is a jump rather than a step forward) things changed rampantly!!
Of-course the baby demanded my attention and rightly so. The poor chap was so vulnerable!! Baby Steve would constantly cry, sometimes for food, sometimes for poop and most times for comfort.
There would be no break- day and night he would need me and I would immediately attend to him. I was tired, sleepless and irritated.
My parents were a big blessing to me during the first 5 months, emotionally supporting me through everything and always offering to help.
I was excited to start a “small cute family life” in Bahrain, with my husband. However, things went really downhill those days. Cooking, cleaning, planning got added onto my duties and I realized I was running a household with no spirit.
The constant fatigue and lack of alone-time made things even worse. I started noticing that my energy (or the lack of it) was affecting my husband and even my baby. I was finding no joy whatsoever!
Slowly and steadily, with the support of my husband and with the constant encouragement that came from my family and friends, I muddled along the new routine and I survived.
Some tips that helped me deal with the new mum stress were:
TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME
You can’t control everything. Babies, especially in the first year, change by the second. It’s a miracle how they grow and learn so fast. The best way to handle this unpredictable phase is to simply surrender to it.
You may not always be able to finish your meals or have a chance of finishing that book or sit undisturbed for even 15 minutes. So let go of the “My day my way” attitude and just try to go with the flow.
See every day as a new beginning and you’ll start relishing the little surprises you get from new motherhood.
THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Just think, your baby’s first few years are only a teeny tiny (probably 1%) part of his entire life and guess who takes the most important role in it- YOU!!
Your baby will soon grow independent and will not need you the way he does now. So try to mindfully enjoy these moments with your little one. The first few years are exactly what you’re going to recall and cherish when they become older.
Also remember, that like all new responsibilities, you will take some time to learn how to work this one out too! So hang in there, mama- you’re doing a good job!
TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS
When a baby comes into the world, a lot of advice is given to the first time mother, about the baby’s routine, food, health and other things. There’s a huge amount of information on the internet too, for each and every aspect of your baby’s life.
Don’t get too boggled by this information. Make a mental note of everything, but only trust your instincts and your doctor of course.
As a mother, you are naturally bonded with your child. Just like how only you could understand his movement in your pregnant stomach and not others.
It’s a link that can never be broken and you WILL know what your baby needs and when he needs it. So don’t fret when something happens or is not happening.
Do what your heart tells you to do and you’ll find your instincts getting stronger by the day.
TAKE SOME TIME OUT
The first year can be really stressful and if you don’t have support, God really help you, dear. But, do try when possible to take some time out of the maddening routine.
Talk to a friend, read a book, enjoy a video on YouTube, braid your hair, anything. There’s no need to feel guilty at all.
You deserve it and it will only make you a better mother when you get back, all refreshed and happy.
EAT HEALTHY
Working to have a healthy body, post delivery, is essential in reducing the impact of stress during the first year.
When you pick a nutritious diet, you are not only building immunity for yourself and the baby, but you are automatically pushing away, all kinds of conditions that can harm your body.
As a new mother, you must always eat healthily. Junk food items make you feel more tired and heavy and even cause unpredictable mood shifts. So stay away from them and eat your favourite fresh fruits and home-cooked healthy meals.
FIND YOUR TRIBE
Talking to people going through the same phase, can really relieve you from all that unnecessary stress. If you already have friends who are recent moms, plan some play dates together. Or look for new moms in your neighbourhood or parks, where you take your little one.
There are many online communities and forums too, that are devoted to supporting mothers these days.
All moms are wonderful resources for that matter. All mothers are generally willing to talk about their struggles too. Reach out to the ones you’re comfortable with and you would finally know, that it is okay to be experiencing this new mum stress and that you would eventually find a way around it.
What more, by discussing with fellow moms, you may even be able to learn new strategies of making things work for your family.
ACCEPT ALL THE HELP
If and when somebody (especially your friends and family) offers to help, accept it, with grace and a big thank you!
There’s just too much to handle and little help and sharing, can go a long way in making you feel better.
Few things that anybody can do for you include- being with the baby (while you finish something else), folding the laundry, arranging the toys, running a few errands etc
PS- Did you know that Amazon.com has a baby registry? Create one with this link to enjoy huge benefits like a free welcome gift valued at $35, 10% discount on the registry, 365 day returns and more!
DON’T COMPARE
This is for all those mothers who are (or feel ) alone in their new baby routines. I understand you. I know how hard it is to manage your baby’s needs while managing your own emotions.
I know how it feels like to see other mothers, your friends and family members be amazing with their new baby phases (with or without support) while you seem to be stumbling at every point. They seem to sing, cook and manage their homes with so much ease while you hardly get time to catch a breath!
Firstly, never believe what you see on social media. It is only a fraction of what the reality could be. Secondly, never compare yourself with other mothers. You and your circumstances are unique and only you can best know the solutions to your present challenges.
Finally, it is human to seek progress in what we do. And nurturing a newborn can seem like slow progress.
So whenever you go through these limiting thoughts, ask yourself these questions- how do you want your child to remember you? how do you want to acknowledge your self as? Someone who is loving and kind to herself and her child right?
Don’t look for validation in others Mama. You are good enough for your baby and there will always be room for improvement!
RELAX
This has become “the most important” practice in my motherhood experience. While juggling every task in the house, I would often get overwhelmed and end up frustrated or crying. I would remember my single days and feel bad about not being able to live carefree, anymore.
My mom suggested that I try and bring a “discipline” of spending 15 mins in prayer and meditation, each day. I tried and the days I prayed, I started noticing a positive change in me.
There would be a little more patience, more love and a sense of peace in my routine. In those days, I believe, prayers made me feel like God heard me and that He was with me,no matter what the struggle was.
It is not just prayer, but spending time in activities like meditation, or a physical exercise or yoga, have also proven to help relax new mothers.
Being a mother is truly rewarding but it is hard hard work- especially in the first year.
With sleepless nights, routine overhauls, energy drainage and emotions all over the place, you are bound to face this new mum stress. And there will be many times when you wouldn’t know what to do.
Don’t worry, every mother goes through the same difficult route. Taking a while to adjust is normal and also your right. So don’t give up.
You’re doing great mama! 🙂
This post is part of Blogchatter’s CauseAChatter
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Hi! My name is Rubitah. I’m a Content Writer certified Life Coach, Counselor, Social Work professional and the Founder of Being Rubitah. Over the years through my professional and personal life, I have realized that prayers and love can do wonders to family life once you come to terms with yourself and surrender to God. Do you relate to me? Then you may like what I post here! Read more about me
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