Are you turning away opportunities to bond in relationships at the cost of being an independent person? Is being dependent on your core support system really that hard?
Picture this-
Husband: Hey, you know what? Hotel Mumbai is releasing this Friday. Shall I book the tickets?
Wife: What about the kids?
Husband: We can ask Mom and Dad to take care of them for a few hours. They’ve offered help before.
Wife: Oh but it’s too much trouble for them! Forget it. Let’s get the CD when its out.
Does this sound familiar?
Are you someone who never lets in any help?
Are you the wife who never trusts her husband to help you with the household chores?
Are you the parent who never lets the children help you with financial problems?
Sometimes we get so caught up in our “independence” that we forget we’re blessed with people who are willing to help us in our lives.
What does it mean to be an independent person
To be an independent person, today, means to be your own person.
It is about earning your own income, chasing your dreams and reaching your highest potential, overcoming any setback, on your own.
Being an independent person gives you control in life; a feeling of security and a deep sense of satisfaction.
On a day to day though, you also feel uncomfortable asking for help from especially the ones who can. You don’t want to feel obliged with anyone at all!
On the other hand, people who are seemingly “not independent” tend to be frowned upon .
The assumption is they’re either holding onto their fears (fear of being alone, fear of rejection, fear of an uncertain outcome) or they’re simply too lazy or apathetic to strive for independence.
To give an example- Americans find it appalling that our Indian culture encourages us to stay with our parents all through our lives!
Are you overdoing it?
Being financially independent is a great goal to strive for but when it comes to our daily routine, are you unknowingly overdoing it?
Think of how much you rely on others apart from family for :
- entertainment
- emotional support
- day to day tasks
- children’s needs
- even your opinions?
We choose to move away from being dependent on close and trusted relationships and are willing to trust strangers, the internet, random institutions and technology for our needs and solutions.
Why?
Is it because these aspects cost us money and are hence valuable and more accountable?
And is that true independence?
Yes the world is a scary place and in the absence of accountability, people are unforgiving, sometimes manipulative and mostly judgmental.
This is why we need a close & strong support system in the first place.
What constitutes a strong support system?
Parents, spouse, friends or a set of people whom we can fall back on; who will comfort, strengthen and protect us in crucial times.
Because it is with this security, that we can soar high and truly be ourselves. It is with the freedom of knowing we have reliable people to support us that we can become an independent person!
Not by disregarding what we already have. Not by taking the easy way out.
But by being truly present and mindful of the gift of relationships. By helping and by asking for help. That is how we grow independently and as a community!
Do you agree? Please scroll down to comment.
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Hi! My name is Rubitah. I’m a Content Writer certified Life Coach, Counselor, Social Work professional and the Founder of Being Rubitah. Over the years through my professional and personal life, I have realized that prayers and love can do wonders to family life once you come to terms with yourself and surrender to God. Do you relate to me? Then you may like what I post here! Read more about me
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I totally agree that we can fall back to our parents. But don’t you think that sometimes,we end up relying too much, which creates a sense of insecurity inside the mind?
Give and take is fine with regard to help also.
I agree! Which is why the independence concept is so subjective.