The concept of marriage is an intriguing one. While women are usually more vocal about the changes they go through post marriage, men are seldom seen talking openly about it. Read on to find out in what different ways does marriage change a man’s life, in their own words.
For any person, change may sound exciting but to actually face one and be successful at it, is practically difficult.
Take for instance when we consider switching jobs. The sound of better pay and more opportunities may excite us in the beginning, but it’s only when we join work, in the new environment, that we come face to face with a new set of challenges.
For that very reason, many of us avoid or even resist change simply because it is easier to follow the established routine. As humans we like to be in control and follow what we’ve been comfortable with, all our lives.
Hence marriage becomes a huge transition for both men and women. It’s a relationship where we cannot pretend or hide our true selves (like we can with other relationships) and so change is bound to happen.
For men, life after marriage can be rather unsettling, as they are required to change substantially in their behaviour and commitment.
With marriage men begin to see themselves as fathers, providers and protectors, an absolute transition from their previous carefree portrayal of self. That is what makes them resist the change, sometimes even after many years of marriage.
Let’s now find out how marriage changes a man’s life, in their own words
They become more responsible
“After marriage, a man changes from a simple man to “Iron Man” ie “he is always in action”!! In my case, marriage pushed me to be more responsible in all my thoughts and actions, not only towards my wife but also towards parents and in-laws.”- Jojo Thomas
“Responsibility increases after marriage and the boy becomes more mature”.- Rajat Malik
Even though in today’s neo-nuclear age, where both the husband and wife are working and are sharing the responsibilities of the household, the men still have a tendency to psychologically take the burden of any added responsibilities that may occur, leading to huge amounts of stress, that are not known or realized by both the husband and wife in most cases.
My wife and I too have our own individual identities and so we are working and mutually taking responsibility (financially, emotionally, physically and mentally) which includes chores around the household as well. I sure consider being blessed to have missus like her!
– Winnie Thomas
A man has to ensure that the girl feels at home because technically she is wedded to him, so it is more his responsibility. Earlier even if you did not consult your family in your decisions, it was fine but now you have to make all decisions keeping your partner in mind. Her likes-dislikes become important for you and take precedence many times.- Saurabh Jain
“It’s the wife who brings the awareness of responsibility, for the husband to make individual decisions. How? By trusting in his decisions, by asking him to make his own decisions instead of blindly following his parent’s (mostly mom’s) decisions. The wife can also choose to ignore these responsibilities towards her husband’s improvement but she may suffer because husbands usually follow their parents’ decisions.- Anil Achankunju
Marriage makes the man more accountable and decreases laziness.- Manish Varma
From the adventurous mode before marriage, men switch to the safe and secure mode, after marriage because they realize that there are more lives depending on them now.- Tushar Puri
They become more social
The lifestyle absolutely changes after marriage. It becomes important to participate in your society and family circles.- Rajat Malik
Somehow after marriage, you are more respected in society and among relatives and friends.- Karan Malhotra
They learn to manage expectations
Relationships are very delicate and man plays a crucial role in balancing the relationship with in-laws and in making the girl to feel comfortable at his home. Man has to manage his time properly so that parents and girl both, should not feel that the guy has changed after marriage and don’t give enough time. – Rajat Malik
After marriage, if I talk about it fundamentally, I feel the continuous presence of a person who gives and expects love and who gives care and expects the same.- Manish Varma
The biggest change is if your parents are staying with you after marriage. How you deal with them is what changes the most. Small things which were never noticed earlier, have the potential of becoming an issue as the new person at home isn’t used to them.
Similarly, it’s unfair to expect the parents to change at their age and managing small disputes becomes a full-fledged job for the man. – Aniket Chatterjee
Couples who live in joint families go through a lot of ups and downs as is known to all, especially the frequent tiffs between the Mother/ father of the husband and the wife.
This, however, has adverse effects on the mental sanity of the husband as he is stuck in the dispute between the mother/ father in law and the wife.
He has to deal with two stories (which are obviously shared using misconstrued facts by either of the individuals with the minor emotional push to it), which makes the life of the husband very miserable, if not dealt with diplomatically.
My case has been rather different by Gods grace- my wife has been pleasantly understanding and so have my parents. Yes, there have been ups and downs as we stayed in a joint family until recently.
However, even those had been taken care off, as I believe in an open conversation, keeping everyone together and clearing the air which also improved my relationship with my wife and parents.
-Winnie Thomas
A man has to be the glue between the girl and his family. You also have a totally new set of relatives to interact with (in-laws) and they also have certain expectations from you.- Saurabh Jain
They learn to let go and share more
After marriage, I have become answerable to my wife in a positive manner. She is also someone I’m free to share my opinions, plans and goals etc with.- Manish Varma
“Because of extra responsibilities man has to let go off his hobbies. Shopping, for example, becomes more for the family and less for himself.- Rajat Malik
After marriage, your free time isn’t only your free time. Therefore you need to be careful and cautious about what to do and when to do and plan it with your wife.- Aniket Chatterjee
Men before marriage are considered to be free birds having no or marginal responsibility to answer even their parents, which is not the same in most cases for women.
However, post marriage being answerable to your better half is considered extremely hard for most men and in most cases leads to distrust among the couple in general which can have adverse effects.
-Winnie Thomas
Men love to get dependent which is love as per their understanding. Before marriage, it’s the mother on whom they want to get dependent. However, after marriage, it depends on the wife if she is able to understand this silent unseen love or not.
Wives should manage this by taking care of the food, sleep and entertainment for the family. Many learn with time while many never learn it and complain that the husband expects his wife to be just like his mother.
– Anil Achankunju
I lost my father when I was 10, so responsibilities were always there, but after marriage I have got a partner who has willingly started sharing those responsibilities. There are certain compromises that both the parties have to make but I believe women sacrifice more.
They have to leave their homes, their families and all of a sudden have to adjust to an entirely new place with new people.
-Georgey Soman
“From being a carefree soul in the world, where it is fine if you do not listen to your parents or don’t consult your family in your decisions, life changes after marriage.
Other than having to adjust with a physical presence around you, you have to make space mentally as well. You now have to accommodate a new person in your life, in your room, your wardrobe, everything. The wife becomes priority number 1. Friends and relatives take a back seat, at least in the initial years.
You also have to make all decisions keeping your partner in mind. Her likes-dislikes become important for you and take precedence many times.
One has to learn to take diverging views in stride and take decisions accordingly. It’s a new relationship and you are eager to make a good mark but you are not sure how you will come across or how your actions will be construed.
-Saurabh Jain
They become better decision makers
A man always wants his family to be happy. So he worries more regarding their future wrt their health, well being and safety and thus tries to earn more so that he is able to always fulfil their needs. -Rajat Malik
Financial planning, family planning and all other matters related to a happy future become important after marriage.-Saurabh Jain
After marriage, chances of making bad decisions become less as you always have your partner to help you make decisions for your future.-Vinod Singh
Men become more conscious of their health and future needs post marriage.-Karan Malhotra
They become better communicators
My wife has never been demanding or questioning my whereabouts nor have I done the same to her and we have been honest about our day’s schedule. We communicate our day’s ups and downs every evening, without fail, before going to bed, which helps us let loose as well.-Winnie Thomas
“Before marriage men prefer to spend a lot of “me” time. After marriage, it is important for both the partners to encourage family time. The biggest threat to healthy family life is either no communication or miscommunication, due to lack of time spent with each other.
If the husband doesn’t understand this fact then at least the wife should and make the husband understand it. If both get egoistic and fail to understand the power of communication then we know what happens.
Another important thing which happens after marriage is that with years, showcasing love to each other reduces. Although both know that down in the heart they love each other but because we are humans we always feel the need to see or feel it.
It could be simply in the form of a kiss or a hug. Roses or chocolates or jewellery work well before marriage but because they cannot be repeated often, it is best to go with something more genuine.
Yes, a wife shows her love by cooking her husband’s favourite dish but the husband may not notice that until it comes with a hug or a kiss or till his wife says “I love you”
Trust me all the husbands are dumb after marriage to know and understand the love of their wives. So they need to hear and feel that their wives love them. Before marriage men have special antennas which tell them that a girl loves them when they just smile. After marriage, those antennas catch all the wrong signals!!
-Anil Achankunju
They find more meaning to their lives
“If you look at marriage carefully, it not only changes you but also makes you a better person. I am becoming more like my wife and she is becoming more like me.
Even in small things like ‘coke or pepsi’ , no chocolate powder in coffee, neat vodka etc. I am becoming a new version of me where she is an integral part. Similarly she has also started dealing with situations like I do, with more practicality.
Living with my wife has also made me more sensitive and learned. I try to see things the way she does and it is with her that I have realized the value of the smallest of small things, like the boxes in the kitchen and many other things. Everything is given a value and I never knew the importance of it all, till she made me realize it.
I never appreciated the small things like my mom’s cooking but my wife made me realize the value of those things. I believe that my mom made me a good son, but my wife is making me a better human being! If I had met her in childhood I could have been a better son and even a better human being by now!
-Vinod Singh
What definitely comes out of married life is routine (a discipline that is lacking in your single days) and fulfilment. All said and done, when you see your wife and children smile and openly show their affection, after a hectic day at the office- that feeling cannot be expressed in words.
-Karan Malhotra
I’ve known my wife for almost 5 years and we lived together for a year before we got married but even then the feeling was different. Post our marriage, there were many emotions starting from feeling relieved to being ecstatic, to becoming responsible, but the most important was the feeling of fulfilment. Marriage has made me more responsible and has taught me how to share. My life has more structure and meaning, thanks to her!– Rajit Kumar
Marriage definitely changes a man’s life in the sense that with the transition, they are “expected” to care for others, something that was not required in their bachelor life.
Women on the other hand are more conditioned to care, right from the beginning and so their challenges with marriage are more qualitative in nature. We will discuss this in a later post.
The good news though here is that studies show that being married can have a lifelong positive effect on the well-being of both men and women. In fact men have proven to reap more benefits from being married wrt their health and finances.
So then dear men, these changes must be for the good, right?
PS- Did you know that you can make your own wedding registry on Amazon.com?! This not only makes it easier for your dear ones to fulfil your small dreams but you also get a 20% off on completion of the registry, easy returns option and many more advantages!
Found this post useful? You might like reading these as well:
Why knowing your true self today will help your marriage tomorrow
8 incredible ways to finding the right partner
How to overcome the fear of marriage- Q n A
How to pursue a fulfilling life on a day to day basis
7 brutal truths about married life
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Hi! My name is Rubitah. I’m a Content Writer certified Life Coach, Counselor, Social Work professional and the Founder of Being Rubitah. Over the years through my professional and personal life, I have realized that prayers and love can do wonders to family life once you come to terms with yourself and surrender to God. Do you relate to me? Then you may like what I post here! Read more about me
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A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together, it is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times always with the same person.
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