When you lose hope and want to give up read this

Are you at the “spot” where there is no way back and there is no way out? Have you come to the point where you feel like nothing can help you and no amount of positivity can bring you back to your old happy self? When you lose hope don’t give up- read this.

A close friend reached out to me recently saying “I’m so irritated. I have so much work at home and with my 2 year old’s demands, I’m sleepless, tired and stressed. I can’t finish anything that I set my mind on, I don’t get time to spend with my husband, heck I don’t get to spend time with myself! I feel like I’m losing my marriage and my own identity in this child caring routine. It’s just so frustrating! What do I do? Will this ever stop?”

I tried to find out what exactly happened and after understanding the situation I said “Don’t worry dear, this is just a passing phase. It was just the same for me. You just have to keep the faith and go on ”

But even while saying that I knew that this was not going to really comfort her. Does it really help when someone says “This too shall pass”? Of course they know it will pass but what they’re really asking is “how can I give myself hope in this present situation which may or may not be in my control.”

How can you offer hope to someone in despair?

The book of Psalms in the Holy Bible has always been my favourite hiding place when things turn disappointing or worrisome in my personal life. I find so much comfort in these verses because it’s written in first person. It’s almost as if I am saying these verses or as if I am crying out to God or praising Him with the psalmist’s words.

One Psalm that always empathizes when I lose hope is Psalm 77. I urge you to go through this because in it’s words you will find despair followed by comfort and hope.

When you lose hope pray

It starts with the Psalmist expressing his deepest hurt to God; reaching out believing that God is listening to Him.

I cry aloud to God; I cry aloud and He hears me.
In times of trouble I pray to the Lord

I find that venting out my feelings helps me feel heard and valued. Sometimes during prayer and even while talking to someone about my hurt, I immediately realize that my problem is not as big as I’m making it out to be.

When you lose hope do not dwell in your thoughts

But then the Psalmist writes

All night long I lift my hands in prayer, but I cannot find comfort.
When I think of God, I sigh;
when I meditate, I feel discouraged,
He keeps me awake all night;
I am so worried that I cannot speak
I think of days gone by and remember years of long ago
I spend the night in deep thought

Notice how in these few sentences, he begins to dwell in those negative thoughts? How he starts remembering all the things that make him worried and regretful?

Does that ring a bell? This is probably what we all go through when we meet our lowest point. We know we must pray but we lose hope or give up, believing that by prayers alone, our problems will not go away. The more we try to find comfort in prayer or meditation the more we find ourselves lost in our hopeless accounts of regret and bitterness. “It’s all good in theory” we end up saying.

When you lose hope do not doubt yourself and (or) God

Then we see the Psalmist get into the space of questioning God’s intentions

Will the Lord always reject us?
Will he never again be pleased with us?
Has He stopped loving us?
Does His promise no longer stand?
Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has anger taken the place of His compassion?
Then I said- “What hurts me most is this-
that God is no longer powerful”

Wow! The Psalmist was definitely in his worst of dispositions. And don’t we all do this? Question our core beliefs, when trouble strikes?

Why would God do this to me? I have always been a good person. Why did God give me these difficulties? And now that I need help, why doesn’t he help me? Why doesn’t he make my husband more understanding, my child less troublesome, my life smoother? or in more complex situations- why did God take away my mother (or father), my child, my spouse, my job, my possessions, my respect?

Why did He allow this to happen? Does God even exist?

This is such a dangerous place to be in if you’re not careful because in your thoughts, you’re being led to believe that there is no hope.

When you lose hope reason and remind yourself of God’s mercies in your life

But then there is a solution offered by the Psalmist himself

I will remember your great deeds Lord;
I will recall the wonders you did in the past.
I will think about all that you have done;
I will meditate on all your mighty acts

That’s exactly what I would urge you to do as well, my friend. If you are in the depths of despair and see no hope in the near future for whatever reason, don’t let your thoughts take the reigns.

Instead immediately stop them and then take a notebook and jot down all your past challenges of life (can be personal or related to work, family, or something else) and against each of these events write down your saving grace i.e. how exactly you got through that phase. 

Now after you jot down your experience, praise God for the miracle that you think had happened back then. For example- a sudden job opportunity, a change of heart, an unexpected turn of events, sudden win, someone helped etc

Use this free worksheet if you want to print and put this exercise up on the wall for all those times when you need to restore your hope in God! No email required. Or simply click the below picture to download this.

When you lose hope remember what God is capable of

Will this exercise make your troubles go away? No

Will it remove you from the “spot”? No

The fact is that God never promises to remove your problems but He does offer His calming presence when you “feel” troubled. He offers His strength to face your circumstances. He offers comfort with His words and He ensures that you safely get through. 

Look what the Psalmist says-

When the waters saw you Oh God, they were afraid
and the depths of the sea trembled……
You walked through the waves; you crossed the deep sea,
but your footprints could not be seen.
You led your people like a shepherd,
with Moses and Aaron in charge.

Yes, just how in the story of Moses, when the Israelites were stuck between Pharaoh’s terrifying army and the massive Red Sea, God parted the waters and brought His people safely out of danger, so also will you be saved from your hardest challenges of life.

God is faithful to all who acknowledge Him. Don’t be afraid. Don’t lose hope and definitely don’t give up. Look up to Him, seek His protection and He will show you the way. All He asks you is to plough ahead and take the step, to GO ON and trust Him to clear the path ahead.

Here’s a song I composed recently with the lyrics from Annie Johnson Flint’s poem (I found it in a book I was reading) Hope you enjoy it and hope you feel at peace soon.